Sunday, May 28, 2006

DEA raids LA Times; “largest ever marijuana bust in LA County”
“Upon entry to the floor space we saw smoke seeping out from under the closed door to the editorial board's conference room,” said a DEA agent who requested anonymity because he is part of an ongoing criminal investigation and professional ethics and legal consequences prohibit leaking information regarding the investigation.

“The volume [of smoke] was such that, at first, we thought there might be a fire in the room. However, upon opening the door, we determined there was no fire. Instead we found approximately a dozen people sitting around an oblong conference table strewn with empty pizza boxes and super-sized bags of corn chips. All but two individuals - one who was unconscious and laying face down on the table with her forehead in a bowl of guacamole dip and the other who was slowly keying into a laptop computer - were toking cigar-sized doobies. We subsequently found several dozen plastic-wrapped bales of marijuana neatly stacked up in a storage room adjoining the conference room."
The information above is ahead-of-the-news-cycle speculation for the proximate cause of this:
Secretary-General Bill Clinton
The U.N. needs Bill more than the U.S. needs Hillary.

THE BEST THING HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON could do for humanity is not run for president. Nothing against her personally, mind you; it's just that her aspirations could get in the way of her husband's worthier ones.

In our continuing quest to find an appropriate job for our favorite ex-president — a year and a half ago we suggested he become chairman of the Democratic Party — we now offer an even better suggestion. This time, it's a post he has coveted. Not long after leaving office in 2001, Clinton reportedly told an aide that his dream job would be secretary-general of the United Nations. That's our dream too…

Clinton also could bridge the growing divide between Washington and much of the world. He has been all but beatified in Africa, where his foundation has negotiated big discounts on drugs for treating AIDS. European heads of state eat out of his hand, and even the most hostile elements in the Arab world respect him as a peacemaker. He is so well known in China that a condom has been named after him, and his support in the U.S. cuts a swath across the ideological and socioeconomic spectrum, from billionaires to evangelicals to inner-city minorities. If Clinton can attract hordes of reporters at every public appearance even when he's out of office, think of the clout he would wield as head of the United Nations — clout that could focus Americans on the plight of the Third World or persuade implacable enemies to at least take a seat at the negotiating table...


Blogger Justine said...

Yes Hillary be a good little wifey (Stepford like Laura) and just let Bill have the limelight while you put your dreams on hold indefinitely. GET REAL LATIMES!!! What chauvinist drivel.

5/28/2006 4:44 PM  
Anonymous TheHat said...

I beg to differ. In my humble opinion...

1. The UN provides no value for the United States. It is an organization that leaches American moneys. It is anti-capitalism and and anti-freedom. The UN seaks to drag Americans down and eliminate our identity.

2. What we need is an international association of Democratic nations. We need to focus economic efforts to free people from tyrants and dictators and not to pay to prop them up. And certainly not pay them to head the UN.

3. Clinton is purrr-fectly suited to heading the UN. Like the current UN leadership, he is only concerned with power, personal wealth and personal acclaim. (And women not-his-wofe.) Let him head the UN and on his inauguration, drop the UN like a hot rock. Purrr-fect!

Lastly...Hillory. As a Presidential candidate, Hillory is not even a good last resort. What have we come to if lowlifes like her can run for the highest office? Let's raise the standard of Presidential candidates not lower American values.

5/30/2006 12:29 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home